Long time no talk too!!

Well as you can image I have not been staying on plan... and I ask myself why......I mean I don't like to see the scale rapidly climbing each day due to water retention. And how do I know it's water retention simple in the last 4 days I have gained 6 lbs... 6 lbs. Nope my period is not close and i don't understand what I am eating differently. I have not been eating a lot of salt or massive amounts of food. I will say that I am not as active.

My epiphany came Saturday night when I tried on some pants that were almost to the point of wearing comfortably and they were tight again... I said... THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep asking my husband over and over if I look like I have gained weight and he tells me no....(I truly can trust his judgement because he will honestly tell me if I have, even if I don't want to hear it...) and that is one of the reasons I love him, for his honesty..........So he tells me no.. and this spurs me on again....

I mean why am I asking him if I am gaining weight? Why am I allowing myself to eat junk occasionally. Why? Why? Why? and quite honestly I don't have the answer.. I just don't know. I know I am not happy in my body or my own skin and I genuinely want to be a smaller size and lighter and healthier but what is my hold up. Why am I sabotaging myself.....and the answer is simple... I don't know.......I don't know why I do this to myself.. I don't like feeling this way.......

So today is the official restart... No matter how much I hate this or if I am traveling I am going to do my best to stay 100% on plan ( I know I can venture on occasion for mishaps or unpreparedness) but I need to do something different.

This venture is for me and me alone. All those around me benefit as well as I am much happier ... Wish me luck and we shall see how this goes...