What is wrong with me!

So here I am another day has gone by and yet another day I caved to the cravings. I had 4 saltines, a piece of cake and since we are headed out of town for a couple of days and I was not cooking had a little kid size bowl of chili with a pinch of cheese.... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.... where oh where is the resistance.. I feel such guilt....and I know these next 2 days are pretty much not gonna be good. I will try while I am eating out for like 12 solid tiny meals but I can't guarantee that i will be or even that I want to be. the idea of having a fun family few days with ice park, pool, movies, and pizza sounds great!!! I won't lie... But then the guilt, oh the guilt. I am an adult and can make the decisions for eating the way I do but why oh why is it so hard when you are trying to be so good and you just can't.....

As I'm trying to figure this out in my noodle, I am coming up blank. I love the way I feel seeing the scale going down, the clothes feeling looser. I feel a tiny bit sexy and on my way to liking how I look so why oh why am i cheating. Is it self sabotage or is it just wanting to taste something super yummy for just a bit. I am tired of watching my men eat normal and me have to eat good but not so tasty food.....oh well. figured maybe if I confessed that it would help me..

I can only say it did a little and I still want the ice cream in the freezer and chocolate in the pantry with Cheetos and a coke!!!!!!!!!AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Off to get more coffee and crystal light, water, and then pineapple for a nighttime snack...

thanks for listening.......