Feeling the Burn!

Well I have been doing well with the exercise as crazy as it sounds. My legs are killing me and they feel like Jello, but I have persevered and already hit the eliptical and will do Insanity later. Eating has been on track with the exception of 3 bites of cake yesterday and today. I am allowing myself these treats in emergencies. I either kill the craving with a tiny amount or eat the entire piece. This has worked and I will be glad when the cake is gone. I might actually threaten the hubby tonight to finish it off. Out of sight out of mind.

Keep wishing me luck......

Motivation at last

Yikes can't believe how long it has been since I posted last, its been weeks. I am still having the same troubles I did before. I can't stay on this plan. I have been trying, struggling in fact yet it won't happen. I am starting to wonder if I don't want the weight loss that badly and then it started. Motivation started coming to me.. and finally, finally yesterday as I stepped on the scale and tried on my skinny jeans... and I almost blew a gasket. My skinny jeans that almost fit perfectly are now getting to tight where I can't almost button them and the scale is still 6 pounds heavier than I want it to be. I realize I have extra water weight on me but nope those pounds have stayed for 2 months now.... they ain't leaving.

Surprisingly the weight hasn't motivated me it was the jeans.... I said oh HELL NO..... I will was so close to wearing those Ralph Laurens and I will again. Needless to say that my mind spurred on working out days ago but the jeans, well let's just say I've eaten on plan since yesterday and plan to until all the fat that I want is gone. I might make little mistakes here and there but I am human. I am just done feeling this way. Done with the low self esteem, done with feeling the fat, done with being unhappy with my body.

I did find out that the eliptical machine seriously kills the thighs and I just about wanted to die doing 15 minutes of the insanity workout. Obviously my cardiovascular strength sucks and I need to fix it. There is no magic pill to help, no weight loss plan can make the cardio easier. Yes I do understand the weight does not help but I shouldn't feel like i'm going to die doing these cardiovascular workouts. So here I go. On with this journey which this time is to be healthier. My husband is in bulking up mode and maybe all of my pounds will magically fall of me and onto him....lol.. probably not but its a dream anyway. But his motivation helps mine I will say. He wants to be smoking hot for me and I want to be the Trophy wife.....lol..

Wish me luck and I feel I will definitely be posting all the time to vent my frustrations......

Long time no talk too!!

Well as you can image I have not been staying on plan... and I ask myself why......I mean I don't like to see the scale rapidly climbing each day due to water retention. And how do I know it's water retention simple in the last 4 days I have gained 6 lbs... 6 lbs. Nope my period is not close and i don't understand what I am eating differently. I have not been eating a lot of salt or massive amounts of food. I will say that I am not as active.

My epiphany came Saturday night when I tried on some pants that were almost to the point of wearing comfortably and they were tight again... I said... THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep asking my husband over and over if I look like I have gained weight and he tells me no....(I truly can trust his judgement because he will honestly tell me if I have, even if I don't want to hear it...) and that is one of the reasons I love him, for his honesty..........So he tells me no.. and this spurs me on again....

I mean why am I asking him if I am gaining weight? Why am I allowing myself to eat junk occasionally. Why? Why? Why? and quite honestly I don't have the answer.. I just don't know. I know I am not happy in my body or my own skin and I genuinely want to be a smaller size and lighter and healthier but what is my hold up. Why am I sabotaging myself.....and the answer is simple... I don't know.......I don't know why I do this to myself.. I don't like feeling this way.......

So today is the official restart... No matter how much I hate this or if I am traveling I am going to do my best to stay 100% on plan ( I know I can venture on occasion for mishaps or unpreparedness) but I need to do something different.

This venture is for me and me alone. All those around me benefit as well as I am much happier ... Wish me luck and we shall see how this goes...

After the party!!!

Well I honestly didn't do to bad yesterday, for my son's b-day! Had real tacos... oh yes with chips and sour cream and sauce....YUUMMMYY......and a slice of cheesecake..... super yummy.....

So all in all not bad. As of this week I am down 1 pound...woohoo... yeah.. NOT...wish it were 10 and then I'd only have like 15 to go...oh well...

Wanted to report on my little slip but nothing major.......until next time...

Things that make you go Hhmmmm

Well in this last few days what is new... Well I can honestly say I'm not down as much as I wanted to be this past week but truthfully although trying to stay on plan 100%, life happens and you make changes.. So I am kinda beating myself up about it but not too much.

My hubs told me that I need to work my way into this diet like he does with trying to quit smoking. He said just cut out small things not all gung hoe.....LOL.. yeah right. Anyone who struggles with weight know you can't do that. But I have found myself doing just that.

I will say my mental struggle this time is excruciating. I am starved all the time and water is not cutting it. I am hoping this is a sign, a sign that is telling me that my body is a hotrod and I'm running on premium......LOL.. But, sometimes I think its just cutting down the normal portion to tiny all over again. Although I have found that even though I am stuffed I still want to eat crap.. not physically needing to eat but mentally breaking myself down... Why, why do I do such things. I don't know..

Okay positives we went for approximately a 3 1/2 mile hike on Sunday... yeah... unstable terrain hefting a 26 lb baby in a backpack.. yeah to hills and ass burnage... suprisingly I am not sore today... really thought I was gonna be....so some progress is made.

I am a little nervous for the detour I might make tomorrow. It is my oldest son Gage's 9th birthday and he wanted cheesecake with cherries on top... WHY, WHY... it is like a temptation you don't want to say NO too... It is my most favoritist thing in the world.. New York Cheesecake and cherries... YYYYUUUUMMMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hopefully a small sliver and I will be good......It's about moderation right.

okay.. will update mid week.. off to hang decorations.....

until later.....Oohhh one more thing. My friend DAWN... is joining me tomorrow... YEAH... someone to feel my pain and struggle with me......

HOLIO SHITSKY!!!!!!!!!

Wow is all I got. Seriously I knew this was gonna suck, again but man I forgot how bad. I am a raging BITCH!!! Pissed off for the simple fact that I can't eat what I want. Well if I am honest with myself there is more than that and I will tell you all.

I am MAD.... Mad at the fact that I am still 30 lbs overweight and have to work so hard to get it off. Mad that I am not one of those people who can eat whatever, whenever and it stay off or I be naturally thin. I am mad that I don't have a magic pill. I am mad that it didn't all fall of in the first six weeks. I am mad how my body has turned out after 3 children. and finally I am just mad because I understand this plan works but I want to know why, why can't I eat corn, watermelon, grapes, or peas.... I mean really, REALLY... they are fruits and veggies how bad can they really be.......

Whhheeewww... wow kinda feel better after that. I can't believe how bothered I am. I am hoping that venting all my frustration and angst will stop me from going and eating a piece of watermelon... YEAH that's right WATERMELON... so here I sit venting to you and drinking crystal light peach tea dreaming of watermelon, grapes, corn, peas, and popsicles. yep I'm avoiding temptation the best way I know how. if this doesn't work I'll start calling people....lol

thanks for letting me vent... until next time...

Here I go again!!!!

As I am starting this 6 weeks of hell all over again I decided I best change a few things. As I believe you cannot truly see my weight loss only in my face I decided to switch up my photos on board. The first is taken May 2009 which is 6 months after my last son was born. I have to say when I see my current photo in comparison to my older one I can say I see a difference. some in my face and all over my body. But (my friend Dawn loves my but's....lol) My BOOBS are no longer that nice. still large ( I only dropped the band size not a cup size) but no where near as perky and enhanced by milk. So this is why I will definitely, I mean most definitely be enhancing myself, to regain my youth.

I have been neglecting my blog and for this I am sorry. I need to get back, back to the eating routine, back to writing out my successes and failures, and hopefully keep feeling great. So after my month long hiatus of eating shitty food ( which was really yummy food indeed), technically not to bad though. I went on vacation for 2 weeks and survived 2 periods and I gained a total of 4 pounds back. Which I do believe is all water retention because I was eating salt again. (of course I feel like my fingers and toes are little piggy's since we got back 1 1/2 weeks ago, so I'm pretty sure that water is the culprit)...lol... oh well time to get this off.

I had been begging, begging for negative motivation-- much to my dismay I did not receive much help.. My sister tried with her weak willed attempts and still does because she loves me but they are not working. My close friend flat out refused and my hubby he just laughed and said NO..... But I finally, finally found some motivation. If I expose the culprit it might stop and then I would be sad.. so for right now I will leave it a mystery and hopefully my plan is to keep on track. So how is my progress you say well let me tell you.

I thought today being day 1 ( and since I have been eating whatever I want whenever I want) I thought that I would truly be starving... But ironically I only got seriously hungry around afternoon snack and it was time to eat so all was well. I will admit to sweet cravings tonight but nothing that a little water and fruit won't cure. So how do I rate today.. actually pretty good. Not as bad as I remember or maybe I felt like I was eating worse than I actually was. .....lol... which is probably true to some degree. I mean don't we all see the worst in ourselves. I believe we do. I keep telling the friends I have another solid 20 maybe 25 lbs before I will be truly happy and they laugh at me and tell me I am skinny but I just don't see it. I see small changes but I know what I look like naked.....lol.. and yeah it ain't pretty. So on I forge...

Now we shall see if I can finish this journey of if I must be on this for a few more months. Wish me luck and I'll talk with you soon.

It's been a while...

Hello all:

Well I can honestly say I have not meant to neglect my blog, but since I wasn't losing any weight for oh almost 6 weeks, I truly didn't feel like I had anything new or interesting to report. But I have news... I made the conscious decision last Monday (when Aunt flow visited me, yet again...LOL) to eat whatever I wanted, not on plan, if I wanted junk, junk food, carbs in the morning, the whole kit and kaboodle. Then, then something miraculous happened even after eating not perfect but not entirely bad, more like freedom of choice really, and with my period on board.... I LOST 2 LBS.......YYYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH.... you don't know how excited I am....

I am at a weight I haven't seen since senior year and slowly closing the gap on junior high days, which in itself is sad that I was this heavy in junior high but seriously exciting to a mother of three and let's face it 30 years old...almost 31.........sad I know......

So my thought is that my metabolism got to used to the good food all the time and I needed to switch things up to make it rev up again, so within 2 day I will be completely back on plan and we will see if the final 15-20 (15 for sure) come off by July 17, th......the big photo shoot day.... yay....

I am truly amazed at how my body has changed with just 20 lbs gone... my size 14 or getting seriously loose I believe shortly i will be in a 12 (well i actually bought a size 11/12 capri's and they are baggy, but i think it is just the cut of the jeans myself...lol) I am so much more happy and it radiates into my whole life... I am so thankful that I finally lost at least this much weight. I can honestly say I don't ask my husband on a daily basis do I look like i've gained weight? Am I fat? and he is thankful....lol.... Yes I know I need therapy.....but unfortunately I don't feel like toting the baby to Fairbanks to see a counselor so my blog will have to do and those who love me that our my sounding boards....

I will say I needed motivation and asked not only my hubby, a very close friend to try and motivate me with negative comments... (neither one of them was very receptive to the idea by the way...) So I wrangled my baby sister, and she has delivered..... and I love her for that... although she has been slackin the last few days, but she is on her last week of school so I forgive her........

Alright... hopefully I will have more good news to post next time...... until then......

Clarity

Well, I am starting to wonder if I will ever lose anymore weight. I am not sure. I am trying to figure out why, why can't I stay on plan again. Truly it is not that hard but yet it is. telling yourself no on everything or taking the extra time to cook 2 meals bites the big one. Yet I know that if I don't forge on I will be extremely upset with myself.

Last week I begged my husband and a great friend to say mean things to me to get me motivated- (What I mean here is pissed off enough to make them eat there words)... LOL... yet no one, no one helped. I have seriously considered calling in my sister. She will be brutally honest and this is one of the reasons I love her. If I ask she will not say no to me, she'll be like...listen hear you lard ass, it ain't getting any smaller. LOL. although truly she doens't mean that but yet she can say it in such a way that I believe her. I am still recalling a conversation with my hubby about 3 weeks ago, and oh yeah that spurs me on.

I am frustrated to say the least. I want to lose 10 more pounds before mid June, and I'm starting to wonder if it will happen at all. How? How can I make myself be more strict, or work out harder.......I still have my July 17 deadline and that is quickly approaching....

oh well. thanks for allowing me to vent. I will post tomorrow on how the day went. Maybe blogging everyday will help me out.

Good luck to all you weightloss people.

Another Weeks

Hello All...

I believe it has been about a week since I last logged in... Geez where does the time go. Well I have been trying very hard to stay on plan.... I'm not doing very well. I feel like I'm going solo and I am finding it much more difficult. I told the hubs to yell at me when I'm not eating right. YEAH... that doesn't happen. He's like babe, its only a little bit it won't kill you. Which I have to agree with him that I don't think it will make much difference... BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT!!!!!

So after a girls night on Saturday, and not feeling hot on Sunday.. I thought MOnday would be a good day to go hard core. I have found I make little, subtle changes that are basically on plan. I walked about 3 miles yesterday, at a very good pace..... serious sweat happening and I felt great.......So since I have a limited time to get my weight off... I must forge ahead......

I will say all my pants are starting to get loose again.. So maybe, just maybe I'll be down to a pant size I haven't seen since Freshmen year....lol.......

Wish me luck and have a great day.!!!!

Results for a new week!!

Well although I have been eating fairly on track this past week ( In comparison to the prior two not so great weeks) I am officially down another pound. Now granted it is not much but hey it is a loss. I do believe that I am fighting PMS water retention and salt cravings. Not good...

Today i succumbed to the sea salt bagel chips calling to me.....lol..yeah moderation was kinda... eh, so so.......tis okay... tomorrow is a new day.....

As I am writing my blog I am enjoying my freebie mocha frappucino.... not as good as the ole Starbucks but for a diet version not bad....

I have to tell you all how very excited I am. Today i realized i am reaching a weight that I haven't seen since my senior year in high school. I am totally amazed and excited. I think considering I have always been heavy and having 3 kids and oh yeah and senior year was 13 years ago... yeah I'm doing good. I'm proud of my accomplishments and i have 2 pounds until it is officially a 20 lb loss. Still can't believe I'm that close.

Well as my hubby is trying out for the Trooper's we will be walking (possibly a little jogging) tonight at least 2 -3 miles. It has turned out to be a fun family event.

Off to cook dinner, what to do, what to do.......have a great night....

Another Day!!!

Okay, so I did work out yesterday walked over 2 miles and wore my old tennies and now I have nasty blisters on the tops of my toes... YEah it will be fun walking tonight. lol.... But I have retired the old walking shoes for only gardening and painting fun....obviously they are no longer suitable for walking.... Glad I have the new pair here......

I am seriously retaining water today.. Not sure why... So I'm almost 100% back on track with eating and drinking a ton of water..... yeah lots of potty breaks.

I am so crossing my fingers I lose something this week.. even 1/2 a pound would be great...LOL oh well staying strict until Monday... Good luck all...

Hump Day!!

I always thought that Hump Day was such an appropriate yet funny way to describe the middle of the week....

Well eating has been,, so, so... I am finding it harder to get completely on track as I feel so friggin hungry about an hour before snack time.. ( I know this is because my metabolism is working great but come on really) So I drink more water...or make my skinny frappucino.....but I'm gonna tell ya that tiny sliver of cake and dap of ice cream screamed at me so loud yesterday I couldn't resist....LOL... luckily almost all the birthday cake is gone except for one piece and the hubby or kids can have it....LOL... i'm good now... oh yeah the ice cream tore this lactose intolerant mama up... but it tasted so yummy.....

Well it was such a beautiful day yesterday I thought, wouldn't it be nice for a walk but had to go to a meeting for work and I didn't get done until after 9 pm......so no walk... bummer.. Looks like another beautiful day though today... so walking here I come.. Maybe Rowdy and I will go this afternoon when there is less traffic, that sounds like a good plan......

Okay off to do more laundry and dishes....lol... oh yeah and schoolwork...fun stuff.....

ALL ABOARD!

Wow... I can't believe its been about 2 weeks since my last posting.... Okay I'm not gonna lie I have only lost 2 pounds within those 2 weeks, my eating has been less than perfect. But I figured since I officially completed the first 6 weeks almost 2 weeks ago it was cause for a celebration, then I got my Associates degree, new job, and oh yeah my Middle son had a birthday... YEAH.. oh celebrations.

To my credit though I ate mostly on track with a few splurges. So hey I figure it is approximately 1 pound per week and that is still pretty good. But now as the time as come to finish another 6 weeks I begin with being as strict as possible. That's right I'm on the band wagon again.. But I fear I might be solo this go around. Dawn (my friend in town that was doing this with me) found out she was pregnant (YAY Baby) but boohoo for me as she can no longer really stay on plan as the baby needs more fuel...lol.. Now Tracy (She's in Wyoming supposedly doing this too with me) I'm not sure where she stands right now. I know she has a bridesmaid dress to get into in 2 months that is a couple sizes smaller than her current size, so I'm pretty sure she is gung ho as me.. But she has fallen off before....LOL... Love ya Trace...

So since I am solo-like I decided to recruit my hubby to yell at me when I am eating things I shouldn't and let me know what's what... LOL.. He was like okay but you never listen to me anyway are you gonna now.... HAHAHAHA I almost peed myself because yeah I never really listen....lol but I love him anyway and he loves me..... But yes, he will be my jimminy cricket as well as Dawn when I need her......

I am posting a picture of my 7 weeks after photo... I honestly barely notice a difference, except in my clothes. Feel free to tell me if you do or don't see any changes.. Wish me luck and I will post again very soon......Blogging helps me keep on track.....

Have a great day!!!Enjoy the sunshine....

Easter hopped on off!!

Wow-- Can't believe how long it has been since I posted last... Sorry about that...

Let's get to updates... Well last week was trying to say the least, I had my oldest sick all week stomach flu and then on to Strep throat, I had to finish my Associate's Degree courses ( YEAH ME- I HAVE A DEGREE) then took the truck to Fairbanks, and oh yes EASTER!!!! Okay I will admit that I did pretty good on plan even when we went to Fairbanks ( although I did splurge a little) But Sunday-- EASTER BUNNY day I decided since it is officially the end of my first 6 weeks on this program and I was celebrating my degree I splurged all day... Oh yes that candy was yummy, the turkey dinner, the rolls, the stuffing, and a few tiny pieces of dessert. OKay I will admit that I did eat everything but in small portion sizes with serious moderation......It felt great to eat yummy food that tasted awesome......The only thing that truly bothered me was the milk products ( I am lactose intolerant though but usually force myself to eat cheeses and yogurt for calcium but with no milk for 6 weeks, yep it hurt... oh the cramps)

But with all good comes some bad.. So Saturday night it happened, my throat started to hurt, yep by Sunday it was worse, the chills, and the swollen lymph nodes in my neck, and today well I decided I better hit the doctor cause the hubby will be gone as of tomorrow for almost a whole week working at Summit and yep you got it... I GOT STREP... Oh and to top it all off my period started again today... This crap is old- I only finished like 3 weeks ago if that... I'm tellin you what children reek havoc on the ole body... Not digging it... So i'm miserable, sore, cramping, and feverish and oh yeah I still have to take care of the kids....Not so hot... I've been doing pretty good today eating on plan until lunch when firmer protein, carbs, and veggies came into play.. yeah choked down half without crying to bad and decided to forget eating, so I grabbed a super soft roll and some crystal light. Hopefully the antibiotics will be kicked in by tomorrow....

Well on the exercise front we walked 4 times last week all of which were between 2-2.5 miles each, Took Dawn one night and then the hubby and boys went with me all the rest... Was great and the boys are begging me to go for a bike ride each night and a walk for me so this is working out pretty awesome... I have felt bad about telling them no last night and tonight.. But I need to get better with the hubby gonna be gone. We will walk tomorrow... Should be almost myself by then......

OH update I did not lose any weight last week but I did not gain either which with being Easter and a period week... RIGHT ON.....

So it is officially 15 lbs down for 6 weeks and 25 -30 more to go.... Wish me luck.. I'll keep you posted on my progress this week.....

Tuesday's Gone with the wind!!!

Well I have some very exciting news!!! I LOST 2 lbs last week... that's right even with eating not completely on track and splurging on a frappucino and Wendy's meal (although I was feeling the pain on that one) WOOOHOOO... I am totally stoked...

I have officially hit the 15 lbs gone and I am now at a weight that I haven't seen since my senior year in highschool....Not to bad considering I've had 3 children....LOL.....I'm so excited and now I have a lot of head of me.. to get to my ultimately goal I have 25-29 pounds to go......wow.. and I have to have this lost by July 15, 2010... yep... If I stay true to 2 lbs a week I should be there.......cross your fingers. Gonna officially start walking because it is getting so beautiful out...the only thing good about summer besides the weather is that I get tons of exercise because of my boys and never really know about it. those 1 1/2 hour bike rides and 1 hour jumping on the trampoline although fun are effective....and now with a toddler to chase after this summer well the pounds should just fall off... (well let's hope anyway)

Alright I'm done sharing my awesome news and now i'm on to more schoolwork.... Yuck.... But hey after today I will have my Associates degree and then BS of Business Management here I come..... YEAH!!!! Maybe this calls for a massage......LOL.. we'll see

Hope everyone has a great day!

Sunday Funday!!!

Hello Everyone,

Well today is another fun filled day in the Lentz household....LOL....Our middle child had oral surgery on Thursday and he is doing great and starting yesterday afternoon our oldest got the stomach flu again... It was a very long night. My poor babies.....the flu is very nasty!!!

I did very well eating out in Fairbanks, I did have a regular meal at lunch on thursday out of needing it to be fast and let me tell you I paid dearly for it... Okay my hubby was totally behind me splurging on STARBUCK'S HAZELNUT FRAPPUCINO----YUMMMY... These are my favorite and it was totally worth all the calories and it didn't hurt my tummy so that was even better. I am hoping to either stay exactly where I was last week or be down 1 pound... To me with having a couple bad days I just want to stay and not gain....Cross your fingers and we will see..

I have decided it is getting nice enough outside that Rowdy and myself need to start walking in the afternoons. This will probably make me feel better too....hopefully will let it all poor off......I scheduled my end goal for myself this past weeks a sexy photo shoot... I am totally excited and now have to July 15 to get down about 25-30 more pounds which I think is totally attainable with a 2lb weight loss a week goal.......time to step it up......

I have kinda been in a funk lately and think I just need some girl time or me time... not sure maybe I will go for a massage to just unwind...... Sounds like a plan now I gotta see if daddy is on board....

I know I have not been myself for a while and I'm thankful all of my guys are putting up with me... I am thankful to have such a wonderful man and 3 beautiful, loving sons........

Okay off to do more laundry and tidy up.....Schoolwork here I come today as well.....HAppy Sunday everyone!!!

What is wrong with me!

So here I am another day has gone by and yet another day I caved to the cravings. I had 4 saltines, a piece of cake and since we are headed out of town for a couple of days and I was not cooking had a little kid size bowl of chili with a pinch of cheese.... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.... where oh where is the resistance.. I feel such guilt....and I know these next 2 days are pretty much not gonna be good. I will try while I am eating out for like 12 solid tiny meals but I can't guarantee that i will be or even that I want to be. the idea of having a fun family few days with ice park, pool, movies, and pizza sounds great!!! I won't lie... But then the guilt, oh the guilt. I am an adult and can make the decisions for eating the way I do but why oh why is it so hard when you are trying to be so good and you just can't.....

As I'm trying to figure this out in my noodle, I am coming up blank. I love the way I feel seeing the scale going down, the clothes feeling looser. I feel a tiny bit sexy and on my way to liking how I look so why oh why am i cheating. Is it self sabotage or is it just wanting to taste something super yummy for just a bit. I am tired of watching my men eat normal and me have to eat good but not so tasty food.....oh well. figured maybe if I confessed that it would help me..

I can only say it did a little and I still want the ice cream in the freezer and chocolate in the pantry with Cheetos and a coke!!!!!!!!!AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Off to get more coffee and crystal light, water, and then pineapple for a nighttime snack...

thanks for listening.......

Beginning of week 5

Happy Monday everyone,

Well I officially weighed in and was only down 1 pound this week. Not to bad considering my period was this past week and the cravings were kicking my butt!!!!!lol.. Still have the need to have some sweets and i'm seriously fighting it.....Not good.....

I did get to measure my body and I am down quite a few inches total... Totally excited about that, but I keep thinking to myself that this is getting harder not easier, I was hoping to be down 20 lbs in this first 6 weeks and I don't know if i'll be able to do it. I need to seriously step up the exercise and water intake I believe. This is gonna be a stressful week, my middle child goes in for oral surgery and we spend the night in Fairbanks on Wednesday night and come home on Thursday after surgery.......So we will be visiting the ice park, love it, and lots of swimming. Gonna try to eat really good... I'm gonna watch it.......

Okay off to play with the kids since it is spring break...

Happy Monday

Girls Night last night!!

Well Dawn and I went to a wine tasting to sponsor the relay for life and we did really good! I had like 1/2 glass of wine and one yummy dessert treat, and a piece of cake later... Not bad really....It was fun to have a girls night. Dad was left home with all the kids and Dawn was having a good time...LOL.......

I am a little worried about the weigh in tomorrow because of the craving this week I have not eaten on plan all the time and I'm not gonna lie i'm nervous...So today is gonna be a really strict day and lots of water, probably gonna go out and get some wood as well so yeah for exercise. I will attempt to either work out to a tape or on the elliptical. Maybe take the boys sledding.

I am feeling really great about myself and I love it....I have all the support I need here at home and having good friends do this with us is much better. I am contemplating upping it up and doing some rapid results meals to make the loss faster. Guess I'll give it a go......

Happy Sunday to all and WATCH THE RACE!!!!!

PMS CRAVINGS

OMG-- I could not believe the craving yesterday as I officially started yesterday, holy crap, had 2 pieces of cornbread and 2 pancakes-- of course at different times throughout the day but DAMN!!! what about no bread products. I mean seriously Angela get your shit together and stay on the plan better... SHEESH.... To top it all off gained a pound, which I know is water weight and alot better than the typical 5-6 pounds per month I gain and lose at this time but I don't know how the scale will tip at the beginning of next week. Hopefully I will be okay.

I have come to the conclusion I want this weight gone like "RIGHT NOW" of course logically I know it takes time but I want a smokin body and my boobs back to normal---- Will this happen I don't know... But I have decided on a big treat for myself at the end of this journey and I really want these pictures done so I will finally succeed at this weight loss thing!!!! I'm totally excited. I emailed the photographer to set up an appoint for the late summer or fall today... SO stoked, and now I have to get cracking on the body tonage.....

OOOhhh I officially bought a smaller pant size.. woohoo-- 2 more sizes to go oh and I had to go down a bra strap size, not cup( surprise, surprise) but hey i'm in a 36- YEAH!!!! I was totally excited about the shopping this week. In fact I am dreaming of shopping and that never happens because as much as a i love clothes shopping I don't like to for myself because my ass and boobs never fit properly into clothes....LOL.. oh well that is what the baby sister is for- to pretend she's my barbie occasionally and spend her money on her wardrobe.. But now hopefully we will do that to me when she's comes for a visit this summer........

Well wish me luck with these dang cravings.. and hopefully I drop another couple pounds by Monday... Talk with you soon!!!

Wednesday

Well today is Wednesday.....All seems to be going pretty good this week. Had to go to Fairbanks yesterday and tried to stay on top of the eating, didn't get my snacks but I had a salad with protein for lunch and a few sip of my son's soda, got home and all went to hell... We were going to workout at the Zumba class last night, so I got home about 30 minutes before we were supposed to leave for the class, I had a pretzel and about 3 oz of orange juice as a snack and then came home and was to lazy to cook so I had spaghetti with real noodles and a little cheese that were leftovers. and today I had a smoothie....

What is the matter with me. I think it's time to be really strict again and this is gonna suck. Although to my defense i have lost a grand total of about 14 pounds to date and that is awesome but I can't be giving myself to much freedom here......

We did go to the Zumba class but it was different than I expected... Just a group of ladies getting together to work out to a video tape, thought for some reason it was taught by a real person. Don't know if we'll do it again but I'll check with Dawn.... Okay gonna do me some strip aerobics today.....Off to make Lunch...

Later

Beginning of week 4!!!

Well it is the beginning of Week 4-- and I haven't lost as much as I would like to have so we have decided to amp it up notch and go balls to the wall working out!!! So maybe I'll drop the next 15 pounds super fast...woohoo.. But at the rate I'm going I will be on this body makeover longer than 6 weeks in the reduction phase.. and I'm okay with that....

I lost a total of 3 pounds last week... woohoo... Grand total lost is around 12-13 lbs at the halfway point not to bad considering. I want to lose 40 pounds total so 25 more or so to go.....Had to treat myself to a cookie yesterday... It was yummy and I'm glad I did it. I feel kinda guilty but hey I gotta treat myself occassionally and I still lost 3 pounds and had a bad week.. so YEAH!!!!!!!! Eating is going pretty good this morning and I'll keep it up through the week.

Wanted to update!!! Have a great Monday!!!!

Sunny Saturday!

Hello Everyone and Happy Saturday,

Well I have to tell you these last 2-3 days have been very hard for me as far as eating goes. I am starting to get pissed about the food choices and selection. I have been feeling limited and tired of eggs and chicken. Gotta branch out. I did break down on Friday and eat one cookie that I had been fantasizing about for 2 solid days. I figured it wasn't healthy for me to be so fixated on a food choice. So I did the unthinkable and ate the cookie. Yes it was totally yummy but then it made my stomach feel bloated and full and I was like wow... Okay.. don't need anymore cookies. LOL... but I will say I'm glad I ate it and didn't deny myself cause in the end my will power is only so strong.....

My hubby told me that my attitude has been more pissy since being on this 6 week body makeover and i'm trying to pin this down and maybe it is the food options, or maybe the fact that my kids don't clean up after themselves, I feel totally overwhelmed with cleaning, school, kids, dinner, my own dinner planning, and getting told occasionally that the house could be cleaner. Yeah I think it is the whole combination. Usually I don't let it bother me but it kinda is getting to me. Time to reevaluate and fix myself, I don't like getting kinda short with everyone. So i'm taking steps.. got the house totally tidy... AGAIN, threw out tons of toys, meals are fixed and ready for me, I made everyone help and that went well.... gotta stick to a strict plan here....So hopefully I won't be cranky.....I do feel great on how I am looking though, but slightly irritated that I need new pants and the closest store is 100 miles away and I don't know if I really want to buy more since I'll be losing more.. Maybe I can con my bestfriend into loaning me some pants that she's not wearing. I'm gonna feel that one out....LOL....

Thanks for listening.... OOOHH I totally figured out a sort of on-plan MOCHA FRAPPUCINO!!!!!! YEAH.. and yummy.....

Happy weekend everyone...

Confession

Yep I have another confession... damn it... I hate having to do this... Well yesterday's eating was pretty bad had a few mishaps.....I ate ham for my protein for midmorning snack and dinner, granted it was sliced lunch meat but it was still ham, I had to have 2 chicken tenders at lunch because we were at the clinic all day and our deli in town here had nothing good for food, all the salad was gone...double damn and to top it all off... that's right I had 2, count them 2 chunks out of my son's cookie......ok.. there I confessed and yet I still feel kinda guilty. I struggled with not eating the left over lasagna in the fridge.

My friend told me that she doesn't consider it cheating it is just life and to get right back on the plan. Great advice but why oh why do I feel so shitty about these decisions. I will give myself credit for not eating a whole cookie as I wanted too.....I'm gonna vent and say I'm tired of having all this prep work....and I want some new flavors.....But the only one who can change that is me... So i'm gonna be creative.......

Okay.. I've purged my indiscretions and I feel at least accountable now hopefully the scale will still be my friend this week....

Wish me luck....and Happy Friday!

Updates for the week...

Well today is Thursday.. Have been doing pretty good this week. Eating is coming back around.. With the flu bug hittin the house it took me a little longer to feel like eating but now it is back... I have had a few flub up this week but nothing to seriously deter the plan. Like yesterday I went and had lunch with my mom, grandma, and a friend, and I forgot my carb so I ate 4 whole wheat ritz (big no, no) and today I don't have a protein prepared this morning so I will be eating me some ham slices (not supposed to eat ham) But I don't think it will throw me too off kilter but I guess I will have to see what the scale says.

I did make my guys some cookies again last night and damn they smell good. But honestly the want is there to eat them but the willpower is stronger. This is pretty great, knowing I can resist temptation. Oh yeah grandma asked me repeatedly yesterday if I wanted fresh, homemade, grandma style Lemon meringue pie...YUMMY and I resisted.. woohoo to me......

Well it is official my hubby has come down with the tummy bug now... It is surprising how much of big babies grown men can be.. but he is entertaining (not that he is sick) but how he is saying he feels...LOL... I'm mean what can I say..

Well off to bleach the house again.....

Tuesday's Here!!

HHHMMM What to do on this Tuesday... I could finish schoolwork... NAH... My brain is drained from being up all night with kiddos and working with 3 hours of sleep.. I'm thinking I'm gonna finish my Cameron inspired Pottery barn unit... WOOOHOOO.. almost complete just gotta make the back and paint. Hey its a workout too Right. I read somewhere that Carpentry is a great workout.. So i'm gonna consider it half of my workout today. I've already walked the kids to the bus too... (but that doesn't really count, or does it?) Hhmmm something to ponder.

Eating is going well. Tummy flu is getting under wraps. Dawn ( a way cool friend of mine) Decided to attempt to make me a mocha frappucino cause I love me some Starbucks and she is an ex-barista...lol... I gotta give her props.. Although it's not a Starbucks mocha frap IT ROCKS!!! She wasn't a fan but I thought it was totally YUMMY!!! and a nice treat.....THANKS DAWN!!!! So another figure friendly yumminess..

If anyone else has any salt-free, fat-free, dairy-free, bread-free recipes... throw them my way!!!!!! (it's totally worth every minute) and surprisingly the only thing I truly miss is an occasional Coca-Cola.... sad, very sad.....

Well off to build and burn calories.....Later

End of week Two!!!!

It is the end of week two!!! I have officially lost 2 more pounds this week so I have a grand total of 2.5 pounds lost...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Way excited. My pants are looser and so are my shirts. I am stoked....Can't believe this is working. I did have some minor flubs this weekend having the flu and only having the ability to snack on saltines and bread.. Tried the salad and stuff yesterday.. not good... But feeling better today and trying to get back on track.. Started out the money with protein and fruit and it has stayed down pretty good......So on to the snack in a bit...

I am excited how much better i feel on this plan physically and mentally. I like feeling better about myself. It's awesome. Hope this continues.

Until next time.....

Mommy bit the dust!!!

Hello All,

It has been a few days and with good reason!!! My third child (my baby) bit the dust Thursday night with the tummy flu as well, not good... I tell you, not good... and then the worst thing that could have happened did... I came down with it early Saturday morning around 2 am.... All day mommy was down.. not good I tell you.. But Daddy and big brothers saved the day and took over. I'm pretty lucky that way.....But today (Sunday) I am still not feeling 100% and I have been trying to eat like I should on plan but with the flu as you all know you need to eat saltines and bread products drink 7-up, sprite, and Gatorade. Yeah pretty much everything I shouldn't be eating or drinking but it helps..

In my defense I tried to eat a salad with balsamic vinaigrette but it did not sit well and I had to eat a biscuit to settle the stomach... So my plan is to get back completely on track I'm thinking tomorrow (cause I think I'll be up to snuff then) ... But I am still trying to eat 6 tiny meals a day to keep on track that way... Hopefully the scale will still be my friend tomorrow...

Wish me luck.....Happy Sunday everyone.....Oh Did you catch the race!!! AWESOME

It's Official!!

That's right folks... It's official, i did it. I officially worked out today. I did a half hour of cardio belly dancing and then went and finished painting for 3 hours. Fun, fun. Love having to contort oneself on the cool garage floor trying to pain upside down. But hey the project is turning out awesome.

All is well so far, with the exception of another child bites the dust, yes our middle child has succumbed to the tummy flu as well. SO, like a crazy lady I was cleaning with Clorox and Lysol last night at 11:30, trying to get in settled down in between bathroom visits. Hey maybe that was a workout...LOL.......Hopefully this crud stops here... I don't want the baby to get it, or myself (because mom can never be sick, even if she is) and certainly don't want to give it to Daddy.......Cross your fingers.

Eating is still on track. Had to send the hubby to Walmart when he was in the big city. I am so proud he got everything on my list and then some. Great Job Babe!!!!!! Alright I'm off to fix my men some dinner....

Happy trails for the night...

Midway through the week!!

Well considering it is almost half way through the second week all is well. Okay another confession, I did not officially work out although to my defense I was building a Pottery Barn inspired Cameron unit and child's size desk for 5 hours yesterday and my arms and legs were feeling the burn this morning. I have yet to work out again but there is still more time. LOl........

Off to the big city tomorrow, this should be interesting. Just have to pack snacks I guess, and take my dining out guide....

Happy weight loss to everyone.. Keep up the good work...

I have a confession!

Yep that's right... I have a confession. Okay here it goes... I did not work out yesterday!!! Phew there I said it. Okay I did walk the kids up and back to the bus but, walked up and down the steps a gazillion times for laundry and cleaning but sadly I don't consider these a true workout but my typical daily routine... So my first attempts at working out failed.... OOOHHH NOOO... I am sad to say I didn't find the time... I know right what a sorry ass excuse.. I'm with ya on this one.

THIS IS ME ANALYZING MY DAY: But seriously between getting the kids ready for school, getting them fed, all 3 in the shower before school, then off to the bus, walked back home, cleaned the living room, put baby down for a nap, did school work, he woke up, fed him snack and lunch (had lunch myself) went to town for groceries, came back home, got dinner on the skillet to simmer for hours, went out to get the kids from the bus, got back fixed snacks put baby for a nap, finished dinner, eat, clean up, help with homework, get everyone in bed, sit down and work on computer, get ready for bed, lay down for 20 minutes (of course I just fell asleep) when I get woken up by my oldest telling me "Mom, I'm gonna throw-up" "Ummm, get in the bathroom not in mom's room" So needless to say I was up with a puking child for approximately 2 hours, then off to dreamland (yeah I was awakened a few more times..lol...Then to wake up at 5:30 am and start all over again..

OKAY--I found the time... that time at night when I sat at the computer, yep that little smidge, that was it... I should have walked down the damn stairs, for the gazillionth time and either hopped on the eliptical or threw in a belly dance tape... Okay I do have more homework but on the babies first nap I will be working out first and then going out to finish my building project!!!

I will post later if I made this accomplishment... Good luck to me!!!

Official Results for Week 1

Well today was the day after after one week I am down 7.2 lbs ( Oh yeah that .2 matters) lol... YEAH ME!!!!!!!! I am so excited. I even lost a few inches combined over my entire body. Now I will be weighing myself weekly but only measuring biweekly as the Six week body makeover plans tell me too.. I figured I should follow them...lol.. But now I must step it up a not.. Working out here I come.

I have made a realization now. You mother's will understand this. My body will never be the same.. As I was measuring myself and had to look at myself in the mirror (not a pretty picture I might add) but i realized that I was very unhappy at how my body has transformed after 3 children. I now have long droopy pancakes for boobs (no way they will ever return north or fuller on the top without the aid of a plastic surgeon) and I look like a zebra across my stomach... This is not what I imagined would happen to me before I had my babies... Don't get me wrong I love my kids but I hate, HATE this... I have never been a vain person but it is now my mission once I get where I want to be in life, as far as weight.. That I will be visiting a plastic surgeon to have a mommy makeover.....

Ladies if you feel the same, do what you have to do to make you happy!! Let me hear your stories too.. PLEASE!!! I don't want to be the only one that feels this way...

First week coming to a close!!!

Well I am still trying to figure this blogging thing out. I need to add my weight ticker and was trying to add a calendar to hold myself accountable for workouts... But I need a break before I blow up the computer...LOL...

Well my first week is coming to a close.. Surprisingly it hasn't been so bad. Besides the PMS cravings for the past couple days... I have been salivating over the cinnamon raisin and banana bread I made for my guys..... I have to smell it and then go drink more water!!! Oh well this is such a short time to get healthier it is worth it.

I will post my weight loss and inch loss tomorrow......Hopefully I can figure out this blogging thing....

Happy Day!!!

The Beginning of my Weight loss adventure!

Wow what an adventure I have embarked on this past week. To finally, finally get myself in the best shape possible. Why now after all these years? Well after the devastating news of my mom discovering breast cancer and my dad being told that he has severe COPD along with his already great heart condition of myopathy. Yeah aren't they a picture of health. Well in all honesty my mom, is in top shape so this really put a hiccup into things. She is in phenomenal shape, walks, eats healthy, such crap she has to fight this.. My dad well he on the other hand it the poster child for everything you shouldn't do... Eat loads and loads of fatty, sugary food, drinks soda upon soda, smoke, chew, doesn't exercise.. Nice right.... But I love them both...

So I decided after hearing this unexpected news from them a few weeks ago, that now is the time. If I don't do this now when will i ever. I need to be the best me possible. I need to be a better mom and a better wife. Not that I am bad at either but if I am not truly taking care of me then I am not giving them 110% and that is not acceptable anymore. They need me to be happier, healthier, and oh yeah live longer.

Well this is the start.. 6 week body makeover on board and oh approximately 40 lbs to lose should be interesting with life truckin along as normal...

Wish me luck!!!