Motivation

One word that truly effects how my weight loss is going. Without motivation I seriously fall off the exercise wagon and eating wrong plan....lol....After speaking with Dawn the other day and discussing how we are going to make ourselves stay on plan and lose my 30 pounds that I pledged to the pound for pound challenge by the end of May. Dawn has motivation in a quote from a loss support group mother which was brutually honest and might be somewhat helpful for me but not truly like it would be for her. I sympathize with Dawn but I do not truly know what her experiences felt like so for this quote will not truly work for me.

So after some discussion we decided that we will start weighing in at my house every week. We thought that the shame and embarassment of not showing the scale moving should bbe more than enough motivation...lol.. I have to say right now it sounds good. I mean although I let you all know my numbers it is not the same as seeing them in person.......This should definitely help me and the added bonus of seeing Dawn lose more than me will keep me spurred on more.. I mean she cannot beat me....lol... although she might...but ssshhh don't tell her that....

Okay so Tomorrow is the true day... I have to stick on plan for 6 weeks. I mean it is only 6 weeks. I have done this for months before I can do this again... lots of water and gum here I come and telling myself I am not hungry, I am not hungry..... and all that yumminess is really crappy and nasty tasting. Yes, yes that is it.....

Okay body get ready, here we come for a change. You and me, we can do this.........On to feeling better, smaller pants, and turning of heads.....lol..

Sick Kids not good for the on plan eating

Well as you can imagine with sick children around I have not been eating on plan basically at all. It is amazing to me that even though I know better I am still grabbing the quick fix items. I thoroughly enjoyed my bowl of cereal yesterday morning although I will say that I paid for it... I am lactose intolerant since the pregnancy of my second child 7 years ago and I decided to use regular milk instead of Lactaid.... Holy smokes when you don't drink dairy anyway but then cut it out of your diet... Yoowweee cramp city..... So although it totally tasted yummy in the end it was not worth it........

I am thankful for my massive amounts of salad that I cut up earlier in the week and my extra grilled chicken.... Those items have allowed for somewhat sensible eating at lunch and dinner but I have not been getting in my snacks.......

I find it amazing that once again I put my child's needs before mine.. I mean honestly we do this as mother's but why don't I just take the extra time... Not like I am in a rush or anything, I am at home with him. I actually have no excuse.....

This post is just randomness and thanks for letting my thoughts wonder.....

Another Monday

Another Monday has come and almost gone. Weighed in and its still the same this morning as last week.. CRAP!!!! so I was 95% on plan today... it was either eat a couple handfuls of trailmix or die of starvation at work.. So I figured the trailmix was better than the chips, cookies, crackers with cheese, pretzels, etc.... Maybe not calorically but metabocically it should burn off better right.... Well that is what I am telling myself anyway....lol...

So after remodeling the bathroom from hell this week I have to seriously get on the workout regimen this week. Took a week long hiatus due to Aunt Flow rearing her ugly head last week... So I am back 100%... time to get fit. Have approximately 1 week to lose 4 lbs to meet my 5 pound a month deadline... Wow better seriously stick on plan... I mean no forgiveness and like a gallon of water a day......hhhmmmm.... yes it can be done and I should be able to stay on this thing for 6 weeks. I mean I know it seems like forever but truly it is only 6 weeks........So here we go again. Off to Fairbanks again tomorrow so I am planning on snack and salad for lunch.... Should be a okay right... We shall see ...

Will report again tomorrow..... Wish me luck and happy weightloss to you all!!!!

Setting Mini Goals & Final!

"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach." Benjamin Mays

So I have been thinking about this quote by Mr. Mays and even with my goal weight of 145-150 set I figure I better have some treats along the way to help pave the road to success. Deciding what little treats I want to give myself when I reach goals has been tough. Since this is not my first rodeo on the weight loss...lol.. I figured I better pick ones that will really keep me motivated to see this followed through. These treats are something only generally only allow if I am seriously sore or take my sister shopping and never pamper myself. By reaching for my mini treats I think motivation will stay with me. So I am going to let everyone know what they are, maybe it will hold me more accountable again.

1) After 10 pounds of weightloss I have decided on a massage!!!!

2) After 15 pounds of weight loss I will have my hair done!

3) After 20 pounds I get to shop at Nordstroms!

4) After 25 pounds on to Shopping at Banana Republic

5) After 30 pounds I will shop some more at Fredrick's of Hollywood (love there lingerie & bras)

6) Goal of 35 pounds- this is my end goal so I figure I better have the big one for this which is a Pinup Girl Photo shoot for myself. I love vargas girls and I am hoping I can pull it off.


With these mini goals set and telling all of you, I believe this time I will allow myself to actually have them. No excuses for no treats, money, time, and effort doesn't matter. No matter if I get frustrated at shopping and not wanting to take time for myself. Dammit I will do this, because this is me time. Me time I promised myself yesterday....

So here is to all of us!!! Set some goals for yourself of selfishness and see if it helps you too!!!

Random thoughts!!

Okay so yesterday I had to go to Fairbanks to check out an ambulance for work and I knew it wouldn't be that great of an eating day.. But I did start out good... I had my 2 egg whites, hard boiled with a medium banana. Didn't want to carry an insulator bag to keep my snack eggwhite cool so I just opted for my small apple... So I ate both breakfast then 3 hours later my apple (that was at 9 am) so after all my meetings, running around, and shopping it was 2 pm before I even thought of lunch or my next snack... needless to sayI needed to hurry back home for the 1 1/2-2 hours drive to pick up the kids.... So what the hey let me stop by Wendy's and grab a chicken sandwich.. Seriously contemplated a salad but with the roads being so icy figured one hand was needed for the steering wheel instead for driving with my knees... OMG did I pay for it later.. Could only eat 1/2 of the sandwich before my stomach was like NO MORE, No MORE GREASE!!!! talk about not good.... Wow so wasn't worth it... Next time I will stick with the salad.......lol... But my random thought is why didn't I just take the time and stop and eat.. I mean do I want to be healthier. I cannot believe because I had to be home quickly I ended up torturing myself and it is my own fault. When will I make myself the priority. I am trying yet it is not happening.

I think this is something all mother go through. I guess its part of the job. I just have to figure the balance thing out I guess more me time.....wow I feel guilty just saying that....LOL.. that is so sad.....okay so my promise is to give myself 1 - 1 1/2 hours of me time a day working out and chillaxing. Sounds good now let's see if I can do it.

Almost Human

Well sorry I haven't reported for a few days but honestly not much been happening. Working out has not been happening since Sunday due to the constant dizziness and passout like feelings that have come with this period. Eating has been almost 100% on plan with the exception of 1/2 cup of icecream last night...So not to bad.

I got this website from Leslie a friend and group member of our Pound for Pound challenge of myfitnesspal.com. This site is totally awesome lets you put in eating, tracking calories and workouts all for FREE!!!!!!!! I love freebies.....

I did weigh in on Tuesday and surprisingly is was 183 being bloated and on my period and totally puffy so yeah.. maybe I lost a pound or two.....we shall see next week...planning on working out tonight after I paint the bathroom some more.. Well I guess I consider that a workout..lol I did pain for the last 2 days so at least I was active in someway.....lol...

Oh well until the next time.....

GIVE IN SUNDAY

That's right I did it... I couldn't handle all the yumminess calling my name on this first day of hell week... So I consciously decided what the hell and I'm giving in...So that is what I have done.. Needless to say we have had sodas, candy, pizza, and to top it all off now I'm washing it back with an orange juice, grenadine, and Skky Vodka yumminess... Yep life is good today.. Think I'll follow it with a small 1/3 cup bowl of Ice cream... Oh by the way... This food has all been in moderation just not great food....LOL....Yeah I know doesn't really matter but it sounded good...

Also no working out for the fact that I am so weak and pale today feel like I'm gonna pass out. Although I did finally get all the Christmas stuff down and putaway and house spotless... So I did do something... Now time to veg....

Will report tomorrow...

Rough week is coming!

This week inevitable. One I do not look forward to every month. A week that brings on fantasies and cravings of junkfood such as above.... I mean they look so yummy in those pictures... But trust me I would not appreciate them ending up on my hips and ass... So the image of me looking like a beached whale with rolls upon rolls is helping me this menstrual cycle........

I am fighting, fighting, fighting the cravings. I will admit I gave in slightly today via a few Hershey's kisses and a Grape Soda....I know... I'm sorry I so cheated but only slightly with the ever present thoughts cellulite approaching........

Off to workout again in an hour... gotta let the food (homemade spaghetti sauce minus the salt, made with splenda & rice noodles that end of looking like calamari) Actually very tasty and filling with a side of fresh tomato slices.... So honestly not to bad for Day 1 of hell week.......

Please help me stay strong.........Until next time

Children = ruined body

Oh yeah, I'm going there today...... Really I mean do I have to be punished for the rest of my life for carrying and giving birth to the apple's of my eyes.... and the answer is most definitely yeah. So besides the fact that after 3 years of nursing (at separte intervals between 3 children) I now have pancake boobs that the only way they will see north is via the Plastic Surgeon.. (which will happen eventually) and then there is the stomach full of zebra striped marks due to the rapid expansion of baby and not enough skin in my first and second pregnancy......I am more than happy to have these as there is money that can fix them and modern medicine that is wonderful....

But what I don't understand, seriously what I don't get is WHY? Why I ask do I have to pee myself when I exercise now.... Oh yes I said it.... I am now wearing pads with workouts... or maybe I should invest in depends....I mean no matter how many kegels I do it does not help.. Stress incontinence is not fun when trying to do jumping jacks... You can laugh now.. cause I have to laugh at myself....This is something every woman should be told before having children... This could be a consequence......I mean I feel like a grandma here... JEEEZZZ.....

Okay this is probably a subject no one wanted to hear but one I had to rant because I am tired of feeling like I'm gonna pee myself.....

But on a positive note I did 43 minutes of Yoga and jog/walked 1.75 miles in 32 minutes...WOOHOoo.... Eating almost 85%......Off to chop more wood.....til next time

Habits

"The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken." Samuel Johnson

Isn't this quote so completely true..... I mean really my bad habits never bothered me before.. I don't even think I noticed them. But all of a sudden when I'm trying to make a change... WHAM!!! there they are like a brick wall... I want to fall into them. I have more than once.. I don't consider it failure but a speed bump on the path to wellness... yeah, yeah.. i like that.... sounds good.. Now I have to believe it myself.....

Honestly did you ever think that losing weight could seriously be this hard... I thought I would be down some pounds, but really I should have known better.. I mean I was only 75% on plan, On plan with an eating lifestyle that actually took away the pounds without much effort but I had to give up so much... I mean can I really think I can live without bread, salt, dairy, or fat for the rest of my life... I can honestly say no....Do I think that allowing myself small things is okay... well the answer should be no but this time I will say yes... because I am going to work out more. Yes, that is the real key with me... I don't like it, I actually hate it... I find that I don't mind working out in the summer, actually it never feels like working out... I mean I walk while my kids bikeride for 3-4 miles, thats just family fun, jumping on the trampoline for an hour with the boys, that's just fun... family hikes, fun, swimming, fun... running around in the yard playing tag, fun.......

in the winter I loathe the treadmill and elliptical sometimes I feel like I'm a hamster in the wheel... oh there its the same thing... oh wait, nope same scenery. I mean truly how can 30 minutes seem so long.. It actually boggles my mind... I am so very thankful that my guys got me the Wii fit and that my mom got me the Biggest loser game... Thought I was gonna pass out on that game today but honestly that was the fastest 30 minute workout I have had since the summer.... So maybe, I can do this. Well I will do it no matter if I like it or not but maybe I might see the time fly by and have fun......

Well here is to me trying to break old habits......Wish me luck until next time...

Another Wednesday

Well do you want me to be honest here I will... I weighed today still feeling really puffy, you know the feeling where your fingers and toes don't want to move because they are so swollen with fluid...Well it happened again...so the scaled lied again (I truly think I am about 2 pounds lighter, cause the rings barely fit this morning they were tight, and tonight they will barely stay on) but it was still 183.2... I didn't get in enough workout and could have eaten better...

But I'm not after a quick fix.. I'm after dealing with real life, eating in moderation and getting it off with good old hard work and eating better..

So yesterday as you can see I started the Pound for Pound challenge, created a team and all.. Yay... I pledged 30 pounds to lose by May 31, 2011.. that is a lot... I got to drop 5 pounds per month. Can I do.... I'm saying yes, with hard work and dedication......I know this will probably be the hardest 30 pounds and I am gonna do it..

Well with being a mother of three and difficulty having the time to workout or being able to workout alone is difficult. I tried jogging today on the treadmill but my two year old son, Rowdy wanted to join in so at 5 minutes in, he decided he needed to jump on.. Mom freaked and needless to say, I'm gonna have to run later tonight and do the Wii Biggest loser.....

I'm deciding I need to workout in the morning even though I hate it. I'm tired, not awake draggin ass and feel like I'll hurl.. Oh well if its the only me time I get I supposed I need to wake up 45 minutes early....Let's see how it goes...Will report tomorrow....

Pound for Pound Challenge

So I've started a Team for the Biggest Loser Pound for Pound challenge.....

Here is our link:

https://www.pfpchallenge.com

Check it out!!! Join

The Xtreme Alaska Crew

Tuesday, tuesday

Well I had weighed Monday but with my fingers and toes feeling like sausages when I woke up, due to the 90 degree weather indoors courtesy of the "Blaze King" woodstove.. I totally believe it is not 100 % acurate.... Since Monday was a 75% fall off the wagon eating kinda day... Oh yeah Tracy I will still give you crap.... cause I give myself crap too......I have had a 100% on plan day and I am going to post my weight one day this week.....

I got the Biggest Loser Challenge workout for the Wii fit balance board... Love it... tested my fitness so they could customize a plan and I was less than excited that they told me to start on the Hard level... really.. no beginner, no moderate, no challenge.... The frickin Hard... Think I'm probably gonna die when I do that one tomorrow. Jogged another 10 minutes and walked for 20... so good workout day...

I have decided I am looking into donating pounds on the biggest loser for food for food banks, one pound off = one pound of food... Sounds like a good trade to me and a good goal. I will post the official web page for that when I locate it......

Feeling pretty good today just had a huge number of trips to the ladies due to the almost 1 gallon of water consumption... Oh the joys, struggles, inconveniences, and pains of being an overweight mother of three on a path with my friends for a healthier lifestyle....

HERE'S TO US!!!! no matter how many times we are not 100% on plan or we need a hershey kiss, an oreo, can't work out, can't get motivated we know we have each other to fall back on and that in itself is worth something. We are not alone... I find comfort knowning I have many friends on this same path...

Well off to another day.....

Almost done with the week!

Well it is Sunday today.... I get to weigh tomorrow to see if I lost anything. Hoping I see at least a pound gone that would be good but I have feelings that it shall be the same... Oh well... just keep plugging along.

I have to jog again today, kinda looking forward to it. I'm trying to alternate joggging then walking the next day... Will say how this pans out. Gotta start throwing the Wii fit in there too.....

I have been eating mostly on plan.. I am having a few Hershey Kisses a day trying to combat the cravings and Holiday after effects....LOL... Oh well.....I have been feeling hungry all the time lately I am thinking the ole metabolism is kicking into gear which is a good thing but not a good thing when you are on a diet restriction... Water, gum, and coffee with splenda are my friends lately......

Well will report weight tomorrow.. Although I don't want too... Until next time...

Thoughts today

Good morning, I did some thinking last night, after my high of yes I actually jogged for 10 minutes and talking with my dad.. Why am I wanting to lose weight so bad?

This is a very straightforward question and one I feel that I should answer here on my blog.... I want complete honesty this time.....

I can honestly say that I want to lose weight to feel better about how I look, I want to fit in size 8/10 clothes, and wear a bikini. But what I realized after this past year is that although these things make me feel good and it still isn't for the right reasons....So after some soul searching I decided on a honest answer. I want to be around for my children. I want to be as healthy as I possibly can be to combat all the bad genes within my family history. I want to be there to watch my children grow and have families. I want to be as active as I can be for them and not have to watch on the sidelines. I want to be in the middle of the action and I don't want to be the one to hold them back. As I have three very active boys and and extremely active husband it means I have to kick it up a notch. If I end up staying 170 pounds that is okay......If I stay a size 14.. that is okay as long as I can run, play, and be active with all my guys I think I have found some peace within myself.......

Will write later on the exercise.......

Still in awe and excitement!

I honestly don' t know how many people are reading this blog here of mine, but if you are I hope you understand my struggles and my pain and know that you are not alone in the world....

So if you are wondering why I am excited let me tell you... Today I did something that I hadn't done since highschool days.

Duh, dun, dun.... that's my drum roll....lol

I jogged for 10 solid minutes on the treadmill and went about 3/4 of a mile. I know this doesn't seem like a lot but it truly is. Every time in the past that I had attempted to jog for more than 1 minute at a crack didn't happen. I have been trying to build up my cardio since this summer and have been running in minute increments while walking and had made it too 2 1/2 minutes before... but never, NEVER 10.... I am so totally excited... can you tell...This is a huge accomplishement for me. I am not gonna lie honestly my legs felt like they would collapse and my lungs never felt like I couldn't breathe (which was awesome)... I thought i might actually spit out the back of the treadmill if I didn't go back to high speed walking....lmao... don't

I have been comtemplating how people run marathons.. I mean really how can you run that long and that far.. it is amazing to me. I think I'd like to know what there legs feel like. I will say I admire their drive and determination. It is completely all mind over matter. And I DID IT!!!!!

I know I will be walking tomorrow... we will see if I am up to the run/jog again.....

Off to bed for me just had to share the news......

Official Weigh In

Wow still can't believe I'm gonna post this crap... I have reached a new low or possibly a high... Yeah that is right I am putting my better judgement aside and doing something that might honestly help me in the long run... Yay me!!! LOL.....

Official weight 183.2...uggggghhhh

Super pissed I am officially only 6 pounds lighter than when I started not good...not good at all... time to work harder and smarter this new year and make a promise to myself to make this change for life. After I am completely finished with the 6wbmo I will adapt those eating styles to my life and alter the foods but still eat 6 small meals a day. Been doing alot of research and that is the best way to lose weight. Seems so odd doesn't it...

Oh well....
Exercise: 1/5/11 - chopped wood for 25 minutes...
Never made it to the treadmill but I will manage today....

Eating:
On plan- 99 % oh yeah I Cheated with a tiny Hershey kiss and 2 tsp ketchup for my meatloaf and 1 1/2 tsp sourcream for my potato...

I decided I will make small adjustments with condiments as needed this go around.
Okay Good Morning Everyone and I will talk to you later

Not what I expected Today!

Alright I know I promised the big weigh in today but got running late this morning and had an impromptu run to Fairbanks this afternoon for the hubs. So needless to say I was not 100% on plan today I was 50%. Started out awesome and then with the trip to the Banks it is hard to eat super healthy with 3 small children all wanting Taco Bell......

So 100% on plan tomorrow and will post the weight.

The hubs is not as bad as we thought, he didn't break his tailbone he just sprained/strained his ass........lol.. I find this very funny yet not. Poor guy landed on a boulder while we were sledding. Told him I could lend him an ass cheek from now on and he would be fine. He said hell ya....lol.....I see the benefit for both of us in that deal....

oh well... another day here we go.......

Here we go again!!

Wow can't believe it has been since September since I last blogged and honestly I think I need to do this to keep myself accountable. As you may have guessed I have gained 12 pounds of the 17 I lost last year back...Sad....I am so completely mad at myself I don't even know what to say.

I am human after all and like so many other weight lossers out there. I truly thought I could keep it off last year and I tried, I tried super hard. I ate on plan for over 4 months and lost 17 pounds then we when on Vacation and I started eating more normal, not bad just normal, still at child size portions but slowly the weight has creeped on. and I have come to realize that I might be this way forever but maybe not.

So I decided it was time. Time to make a change for me. I felt so wonderful last summer mentally and physically. My hubby tells me all the time I am beautiful just the way I am and I don't need to do anything for him... But this isn't for him. This is for me... me alone.... I think I am going all out this year and will be posting my weights on the blog I will start weight blogging tomorrow and I officially start eating on plan tomorrow too. Gotta get all prepped today and 6WBMO says start on a Monday... But I will post measurements and weight tomorrow... Can't believe I'm gonna do this to the entire Internet......I have also decided that i must log in and track my exercise online/blog as well. This was my downfall I have all the tools here in my house.. I have the treadmill, eliptical and thanks to all my guys the Wii Fit now...(super excited) and cazilleons of tapes.....No excuse not to be working out but when I stopeed walking this summer, the weight started creeping on.

Wish me luck... I'm posting a pic from yesterday sledding.... it truly is just facial shots as I am in snowgear but I will be able to see the progress via the jowls.....lol...

Okay will talk to you in the am.....